I've been doing lots of reading on Native American spirituality lately, hoping it would bring me some peace. I've become more anxious about the fact that no jobs on any websites excite me at all, and after almost three and a half months, I'm not working full-time. Still, I've also appreciated the time off. I've been hoping that reading more about The Red Road will bring me closer to harmony with my present as it is. I've just got too much on my mind. Still grieving, still trying to get on the baby bandwagon and/or get a 'forever' child (what with 7 women in my circles notifying us of their due dates in 2009), still trying to figure out if I can make the consulting gig work full-time, still researching everything -- jobs, adoption (& fb which is way too much time wasted).
Every so often, I do experience a moment of clarity. I'm where I'm supposed to be. If it were any different at this moment, it wouldn't be my life. The life I lead, the new life that will be gifted to us -- they're all miracles. I can only control so much.
Part of journeying on The Red Road is being forced to seek guidance from the Great Spirit on my own and taking the time to sit and be okay with what the Spirits offer me at this moment in this life of mine. So I need not be so overwhelmed.
I am an empty vessel through which the power of the Great Spirit can flow so long as I step out of the way, remain humble, and always walk with my heart.
