Pop goes the . . .

For weeks, I've been obsessing about cake pops, researching various easy bake recipes - originally wondering if I could make them with a Star Wars theme in mind for my nephew's upcoming fifth birthday. Sadly, much too complicated for me - that is, the Star Wars head pops. Instead I decide to treat myself to a couple of pops. On the hunt for cake pops, we went. 

Coffee in my left, pop in my right alternating with pen in hand. 

Napping in her carseat as we're out and about, N.'s eyes open ever so slowly to the background sound of javagoers' voices. On our errand run earlier, an elderly woman commented, "Hi, baby. Oh, big eyes!"

Big, bright, brown eyes. 

Yummy love
oh, my chocolate bonbon!

her golden, morena skin
whose touch i never imagined
my cheek against hers

she, a collaborative confection,
between my darling and me
she is our yummy love
like a long craved cake pop!
round and brown
my life's delectable treat
oh, how divine!



My goddaughter is a junior in college. In a year, as her mama says, she'll be a grown ass woman, getting a job, and finding her own place to live. Wrapping up her senior year of high school, my niece is about to make a decision on which university to attend in the fall. A freshman in high school, my other niece sports a varsity cheerleading jacket as we take her out for a belated birthday brunch date. And my daughter is just developing her palate. Already a connoisseur of oatmeal, bananas, avocado and sweet potatoes, she's most recently tackled squash, yukon potatoes with a sprinkle of parmesan.

Making sure that I don't offer my own experiences too much, I watch as each of my goddaughter and nieces, who have grown into smart and strong young women, finds her way in the world.

Oh, to enjoy being a girl.

On a weekend visit, I supportively listen to my sister- and brother-in-law as they share their anxieties of their eldest, N., soon off to college. Her dad's biggest fear? N. will come home pregnant. I offer to be sure to send N. off to school with a jar of condoms and vaginal contraceptive film (VCF) - just in case. No doubt her mom has already prepared her with a confidential visit (that is, without mom during the exam) to the gynecologist. After all, she is a beautiful 17-year-old in a good ol' American high school. Having worked with high school and college students and their families for over a decade, I understand that my brother- and sister-in-law are in the midst of coming to terms with the end of N.'s childhood and the beginning of her adult life. Big sigh. While the greatest of parents stay connected to their children, it may be time to let go - just a little. Another big sigh. Who wouldn't be in a tizzy?

(I'm uneasy just leaving my seven-month-old with anyone other than my sister-in-law. I, too, must learn how to let go.) 

I occasionally send a tiny care package - sometimes a box of champorado (chocolate rice pudding) - or simple note tucked with coffee cash right before semester mid-terms to D., who studies at Hampshire College, to let her know that I'm thinking of her. When A. is on the road for cheer competitions, I text her good luck wishes and check in to see how her team fared in the overall standings. I'm cautious not to cramp their styles as I don't want to cross their young adult boundaries. I remember how rebellious (and sometimes nasty) I was in my coming of age years. Good enough so that my parents trusted me. Bad enough so that I felt I could mouth off every so often and say exactly what was on my mind. 

Oh, so trying to be a girl.

And now it's payback time. Because I have a daughter. She will probably give me even more heartache than I gave my parents. While a newbie at parenting, I hope to share some nuggets of wisdom (as I continue to learn more):

  • Always express love.
  • Do the work within yourself because it's the hardest work you'll ever do.
  • Laugh lots and if it's the bellyaching kind, even better.
  • Learn to please yourself because you can't depend on someone else to please you, plus it's safer.
  • Try all different flavors of ice cream.

My wish for the dear girls in my life? Enjoy being you


Inspired by Good morning beautiful

we gaze from behind 
a stained glass snowflake
march drifts along our shoreline
we patiently await Spring's arrival 
a violaceous crocus sits 
like a crouching surprise 
smiling you perfect you