[We started our adoption journey in 2009. Since N.'s birth, our adoption dossier has been put "on hold" due to the mandated two-year nurturing period. Once N. turns two, we supposedly can resume our standing in the adoption wait.]

It's been a trying few weeks.  Make that some trying years.

In the larger adoption world, disruption means a failed adoption. On our adoption journey, it is a considerable problem that has interrupted our very personal process. Our adoption agency, PSB, recently lost their accreditation due to a disagreement with the central Philippines adoption authority ICAB regarding a case of siblings. PSB's disagreement has jeopardized all of the families waiting for their child matches in their Philippines program. 

And now there is no PSB Philippines program. After more than 30 years of successful adoptions as well as other Philippines-based support services, PSB no longer has an adoption program. 

Where does that leave us? Frustrated, angry, heartbroken not to mention a considerable amount of our finances completely gone.

I am in mourning. That we may leave a waiting child -- with whom we haven't been matched -- hanging leaves me incredibly sad. We know that our birth daughter, N., would have never been gifted to us had we not started the adoption journey. We so looked forward to growing our family through both adoption and birth if possible. That possibility has shrunk to the size of a pinhole.

While ICAB has recommended a transfer agency, it's not one that we've chosen or vetted. Nor has PSB assumed any accountability.

Yes, we've sought legal consultation. The attorney basically said this isn't uncommon in international adoption and basically, we've been screwed.  


As we recover from the shock, exasperation, and ongoing heartsickness, we push forward. We'll go through the process of having our file reviewed with a fine toothed comb by the transfer agency, who has already informed us of (unplanned) transfer agency fees. We'll consider their opinions. A. & I have our own concerns given how already heavily scrutinized our dossier has been due to our medical history.  

Not sure how much more of a leap of faith we can take -- emotionally and financially.  Adoption limbo is absolutely maddening. It just may not happen for us. Not right now.  

It's no wonder that foreign adoptions by Americans have declined by more than 60 percent.

I continue to discerningly pray that Spirit will guide us to the decision that is right for our family. Hard to not feel like Mama Interrupted.