Mom left on a 10.30pm flight for the Philippines last night. The past week has been wrought with a combination of anxiety, forgiveness and thanksgiving. Mom's main purpose for her two-month retreat to the Philippines is to work through the mess of paperwork around Michael's U.S. citizenship. It's a complicated situation. So complicated I refuse to relive my last memory of the Philippines (2003). The next time Al & I go to the Philippines, it will be to get our child. And it will be a wonderful memory - for both of us. While I was at Mom's yesterday, I came upon one of Dad's chaplets and read, 'Prayer is thanksgiving.' In my daily meditation, I've tried to mindfully focus on prayer. I pray that once Mom has cleared up Michael's paperwork, she can relax and enjoy her retreat. I pray that on this trip, Mom's heart experiences more ease and less guilt about Dad's dying. I pray that time and memories continue to comfort our family as we continue to grieve with graceful thanksgiving.
I've been anticipating Dad's 100th day death anniversary - Sunday, December 7. Some Buddhists believe that spirits are reborn then.
I miss my Dad.
