As many family & friends know, Dad will be in the hospital this weekend. We have consulted with Dad's doctors and have decided to halt dialysis. Dad stopped chemo in June. Things will naturally take their course. We will be making arrangements to have hospice at home.
It has been difficult to see Dad in constant pain, unable to walk, unable to get out of bed. He is tortured day-to-day. We want Dad to be as comfortable as possible. Know that he is fully aware and has said that he has had enough and welcomes no treatment at all.
Thank you, everyone, for your ongoing heartful thoughts & peaceful intentions.
I forgot to mention -- When we were settling into his hospital room yesterday afternoon, Dad changed into a gown and asked that the shade be closed. He said, "The angels might see me."
What makes us most confident about our decision is that Dad has shared, "It's better to go straight than to take the winding road." Poetic, isn't he?
[While I know that this is the right decision, in trying to be peaceful I am wrought with much anxiety and worry especially about my mom. We're both afraid to see my dad physically leave us as his body shuts down. But I am comforted by the fact that seeing him tortured in pain on a day-to-day basis is no way to live. Dad wants to be at peace, and I want that for him too. Needless to say, this will be a most memorable birthday.]
