everyday blessed

everyday 

i breathe
i pray
that i witness
a miracle

everyday
i think 
i just want 
to celebrate 
being alive 

Oh, oh, oh it's magic, you know

With the summer as it was, it's been a while since I've taken my last woods bath. So how delicious it was to take my heart for a familiar walk in the woods around the lake and listen to the magic whispers of ancient trees. 

to wander is a gift
to dawdle amidst Eath's wonder is a blessing
i go to my therapist
to be soothed and healed
her poetry enlivens me 
like a glowing honeysuckle white sundress 
that i've never dared to wear before
her name is Nature

Sweet amazing grace

the combination of valium and pre-op anesthetic
is my amazing grace that teaches my heart to fear
and grace my fears relieved

the medical staff asks me 
to place my head on a purple foam rest
cradled i am 
remarkably calm 
as if on my plum yoga blocks
i slide over 
to the operating table
and after that 
i recall nothing -- 



11pm to 2am 
twas supposed to be only an hour-long operation
my mom alone in the waiting room recounts to me -- 
after midnight, all of the lights went out
as she waited and waited and prayed and prayed
for an update

i wake up, i vomit a smidge
the medical staff strips me naked 
and wipes me down thoroughly
warm washcloths along my neck & limbs 
i am aware that this is my second NG tube
and second surgery in a little over a month
june 28th july 31st
oxygen tubes in my nose, catheter 
and other IV tubes in my arms and hands 
(my veins are small) 

post hysterectomy complication
trauma to my body 

21 staples removed
16 pounds lighter
now i'm no longer doubtful, 
of what i'm living for

'tis grace that has brought me safe thus far
i feel so alive and 
feel like a natural woman