i.
show me, Spirit
show me, Spirit
by the Sun's time
to search and discover the moment of being
be my course, be my mana
be my star, oh Spirit,
and show me, Spirit, now . . .
ii.
Sunset stares at me lovingly
with Her sultry violaceous eyes
i cannot help but return the gaze longingly
with pono in my heart
as ambrosial as hawaiian poi
Sheelagh Cabalda is a partner, mama and educator, who has worked extensively in youth development, cultural studies, multicultural counseling, cancer support, higher education, events administration and non-profit management. Redefining success is a combination of positive & changing self-concept, inner directedness and a balance of priorities. It is personal empowerment -- taking charge over what we can control & accepting what we cannot. Every day is an attempt to do just that.
17.7.11
9.7.11
Still afloat
Adoption update: Still waiting. In addition to having requested an extension to our immigration application as we continue to wait for our child match, we now have to redo our USCIS fingerprints (because our documents are more than a year old). For me, that's a challenge as my fingerprints seem to be unreadable. USCIS says I must work too hard, that my fingers are worn out which is why my prints are unsuccessful. More frustrating than amusingly comforting. If my fingerprints don't show up once again, I'll have to yet again chase down criminal background clearances and pay additional fees. Oh joy! In the meantime, we continue to appreciate our time B.C. (Before Child).
At work, my pregnant colleague, M., glows more expectantly with every passing week. I am genuinely excited for her (it's her first) and remind myself that choice along with Fate has brought us on our adoption journey. Friends and family post their newborn snapshots competing for Gerber's attention or share snippets of their talented toddlers, the next American Idols, on facebook. We'll get wind of cousins' kids' parties in which we weren't included (perhaps because we are currently childless), and yet we receive invites to family friends' little ones' milestone birthdays.
When I least expect, thoughts of patiently waiting for someone to die float past thoughts of patiently waiting for someone to join (or be born into) our family.
And I chant encouragingly, Appreciate our time B.C.
At work, my pregnant colleague, M., glows more expectantly with every passing week. I am genuinely excited for her (it's her first) and remind myself that choice along with Fate has brought us on our adoption journey. Friends and family post their newborn snapshots competing for Gerber's attention or share snippets of their talented toddlers, the next American Idols, on facebook. We'll get wind of cousins' kids' parties in which we weren't included (perhaps because we are currently childless), and yet we receive invites to family friends' little ones' milestone birthdays.
When I least expect, thoughts of patiently waiting for someone to die float past thoughts of patiently waiting for someone to join (or be born into) our family.
And I chant encouragingly, Appreciate our time B.C.
Floating with July
mid-morning Lenora greets us
with her usual homemade brunchfare
Como esta? How are you?
my poached eggs chuckle bright-eyed
as they lay against their buttered wheat blanket
after dropping in on Lenora y familia
we head over with gear in hand
to visit with Saturday's Sun
She welcomes us graciously
as we sit for a spell on her berth
and chat about Future's fancies
Her weekly company inspires us --
to be charmed
like the baby snapper
who grabs onto the tiny squidbait
at the end of my pole
to be Sunstruck
like the exact instant
captured in a moment's photo
4.7.11
Pamilya
Modern Filipino family. Complete with siblings and a dozen other first cousins and their families, titos and titas who've married into the family, and of course, can't forget the lolas and lolos who hosted family gatherings some thirty plus years ago the way second generation-ers are now.
The summer season's always a busy one what with christenings, anniversaries and birthdays. Milestone ones like N.'s sweet 16. N. is the oldest child on A.'s side of the family and his beloved niece, his brother's oldest daughter. Instead of a good ol' Filipino American glam debut, N. chose to have a family barbecue. My brother-in-law, E., purchased a smoker grill for the occasion. And grill master A. now looks forward to finding any family occasion to celebrate with E. and family. (Next month, E.'s 42nd birthday. Only if E.'s agreeable, of course!)
While my side of the extended family boasts around 130 first cousins (my Mom is one of twelve, and my Dad was the youngest of seven), they are spread throughout the globe -- up and down the West Coast stateside, a few of us on the East Coast, Canada, United Kingdom, Australia, United Arab Emirates, Egypt, East Asia and the Philippines. Other than trips to the homeland, my experience of big family occasions is on A.'s side.
Usually I'm overly anxious immediately before a family event, though I've gotten better through the years as I've become more familiar with the varying personalities across A.'s immediate and extended families. No modern Filipino American family is without its polite small talk and drama, some of it serious, some of it unaddressed, and some of it you just can't make your own. Whatever communication challenges, I've learned to welcome every family event as an invitation to practice authenticity.
A couple of supersized, colorful party cups of homemade sangria doesn't hurt either.
The summer season's always a busy one what with christenings, anniversaries and birthdays. Milestone ones like N.'s sweet 16. N. is the oldest child on A.'s side of the family and his beloved niece, his brother's oldest daughter. Instead of a good ol' Filipino American glam debut, N. chose to have a family barbecue. My brother-in-law, E., purchased a smoker grill for the occasion. And grill master A. now looks forward to finding any family occasion to celebrate with E. and family. (Next month, E.'s 42nd birthday. Only if E.'s agreeable, of course!)
While my side of the extended family boasts around 130 first cousins (my Mom is one of twelve, and my Dad was the youngest of seven), they are spread throughout the globe -- up and down the West Coast stateside, a few of us on the East Coast, Canada, United Kingdom, Australia, United Arab Emirates, Egypt, East Asia and the Philippines. Other than trips to the homeland, my experience of big family occasions is on A.'s side.
Usually I'm overly anxious immediately before a family event, though I've gotten better through the years as I've become more familiar with the varying personalities across A.'s immediate and extended families. No modern Filipino American family is without its polite small talk and drama, some of it serious, some of it unaddressed, and some of it you just can't make your own. Whatever communication challenges, I've learned to welcome every family event as an invitation to practice authenticity.
A couple of supersized, colorful party cups of homemade sangria doesn't hurt either.
Pamilya
halik halik
(kiss kiss)
paano ka?
(how are you?)
kaya kaibig-ibig upang makita ang sa iyo!
(so lovely to see you!)
kumain ng kumain
(eat eat)
lahat sa!
(all in!)
tulad ay ang modernong kamag-anak
(such is kin today)
(kiss kiss)
paano ka?
(how are you?)
kaya kaibig-ibig upang makita ang sa iyo!
(so lovely to see you!)
kumain ng kumain
(eat eat)
lahat sa!
(all in!)
tulad ay ang modernong kamag-anak
(such is kin today)
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