Wading through June

June is a big month. My Dad's birthday is June 4. A. proposed June 9. Father's Day is in June, and our wedding anniversary is June 18. Not to mention family birthdays in June too. June is the gateway to summer, a time to wade through life's dark spots. 

Bit of an annual ritual as I page through photo albums, memories of my Dad. Traditional Filipino man who arrived in the 1960s, worked hard to create a life in Jersey City. Age and sickness softened him. 

Not the image of him pained and bald because of cancer treatment. This is how I like to remember my Dad -- cutting and funny, engaging and a bit of a button pusher, overall supportive. My fondest memory of him is how he, along with his Knights of Columbus buddies, came out to support a historical mural project I'd been working on with  FilAm youth in Jersey City. More than thirty years ago, I gushed with idealism and activism, my time divided between my NYU career and community work with NYC's Asian American and Jersey City's FilAm youth.

Grateful that my relationship with my Dad grew beyond my 15yo angst, that we had a chance to appreciate each other -- he as a seasoned parent, me as an adult woman. Thankful that he had a few years to relish a friendship with his son-in-law, a man whose patient compassion supported our family through our journey with cancer. 

Hope your view from beyond the stars is wonderful, Dad.

Binabati kita

Binabati kita. Congratulations to us. You, your Dad, me, Lola, Grandma, Grandpa, Ninang, Ninong, Titas, Titos, Ates/Manangs, Manongs/Kuyas. It's the last day of school, and it happens to fall on Philippine Independence Day. You represent our family, and we are all interconnected, kapwa. Mindful of our Filipino roots and parents' journeys to the States almost sixty years ago, I am deeply conscious of how sacred it is to witness your crossing the stage into tweendom. Just as a crab molts, you will experience transition to life in middle school. This is a time of natural and necessary growth, along with patience and discomfort, you will shed what you have outgrown so that you may fully tackle what is new.

Yes, it's nerve racking, and it's rewarding as you engage us in deep conversations about your perceptions of how the educational system recognizes your supposedly more astute peers and how it frustrates you that your ordinary efforts in submitting creative pieces in annual art contests or documenting cultural projects to celebrate diversity the past six years are not recognized as extraordinary learning accomplishments. And they are! That you took a chance to learn a new piano piece (having stopped lessons before covid and now self taught whenever inspired) and partnered with a pal who plays violin to peform a duet for your sixth grade variety show, that is courage worth appreciating. No accolades for how keenly tuned in you are to how your peers and teachers treat others and how thoughtfully self aware you are in those challenging situations. 

You remind us to find the extraordinary in the ordinary as extraordinary moments are found in the most ordinary people. How deeply touching that you donned your Grandma's 1969 heirloom dress for your moving up ceremony and that we could start a new tradition by gifting you with a Filipino lei to show how much we love and honor you in this life stage, how far you've come and muddled through a pandemic.  Grateful that your 81 years young Lola is healthful to hop on a flight from Jersey to DC and share in the celebration.

Eagle out. Bruin ready to rise.
-- 
i need a moment
to soak it all in
she is silent, i hear her
she's got me, she is everything
the creek burbles
she shimmers in this moment
i ruminate
on this day as i stand still
the universe graciously poised too
she takes my hand and says,
i've got you, come with me 
and see it all --
perfect.