Visiting with Dad

It's the eve before All Souls' Day.  I spent the late morning at the Keyport pier, wanting to just spend some quiet time there.  A little windy, the fall sun was so warm. The pier was completely unoccupied.  I sat on the end of the bench next to my Dad's blue canopy chair.  Despite pain, Dad was peaceful that July day -- telling us that we should definitely bring Auntie, Uncle and a couple of his close friends there in the future. Calm and simply enjoying the peace of the bay with our family.

I find myself weeping lots lately (and I'm done bleeding).  Some of my crying is because I miss my Dad so much, and I'm anticipating the holidays. I think I've also been crying because I'm anxious to start our own family.  Yesterday afternoon, I was so honored and excited to have met a friend's second daughter, Casey, who arrived from China this past summer. Just sixteen months old, she warms up pretty easily to folks, is so beautiful and just a delightful baby. I call her my little shumai (dumpling).  I am so happy for my friend, who now has two lovely daughters, Casey & Callie.  To the blessings of little girls . . . congratulations, Laura & Ronnie!   

Laura & I seem to be on similar paths.  I am a member of the same club no one really wants to be a member of -- having had my Dad pass away.  Also, Laura has been so wonderful in sharing her personal story of her own challenges in having a family too.  I know, I can't worry too much about the future.  It takes me away from enjoying the now. 

I appreciate all the blessings in my life and continue to pray peaceful intentions.  

I pray to the Sun 
Whose warm arms bring me comfort
When I weep in my father's memory

I pray to the Sun   
Whose Spirit sits quietly with me
When I long to be a mama 

I pray to the Sun
Whose grace envelops me
When I am with others

I pray to the Sun
Whose gift of thanksgiving
Overwhelms others with Life's simple abundance