1. Confirm date of death with Social Security & Pension funds, and make sure they have actually noted it in their records. Most likely, you'll have to follow up more than once even if you have completed all of the forms.
2. Reassign all bills (after) / bank accounts (before) / home-car-health insurance policies (after) to the appropriate individual(s).
3. Change the outgoing message on the answering machine. (Of course, your natural tendency is to save it because it's probably the only recent recording of your Dad's voice.)
4. Destroy & cancel all credit cards.
5. Cancel all magazine subscriptions, and on the bill, write 'DECEASED.'
6. Cancel all memberships, and on the dues, write 'DECEASED.'
7. Cancel Dad's cell phone.
8. Do not use any return address labels with your Dad's name on it.
9. Mom likes to sign off on any written communication -- Lina & Amante (RIP)
10. Keep copies of your Dad's death certificates. Lots of official folks need proof.
11. Keep in touch with Dad's friends . . . makes you feel closer to him.
Though I've been unemployed for a few months now, unending matters around Dad's affairs constantly pop up. Just when I think I've already made the calls and have completed the right paperwork, someone still doesn't have it right in their records. For some reason, he's still living in their records. And I have to confirm and reconfirm that he passed away. So much fun to constantly rehash my Dad's death in my mind. And the hospital bills? We're receiving explanations of benefits from procedures my Dad had in March! Apparently, it takes nine months to process those. I have to admit, I'm willing to deal with all of it, just to spare my Mom any more grief than she continues to experience.
Mom is taking care of some business in the Philippines, including attending to Michael. Sad news, another family member passed away from cancer -- Uncle Moring (Corrales), Dad's brother-in-law's brother. Like family, I suppose, since they're all from the same hometown. We'd last spent some time with him when we were all in CA in April. He returned to the Philippines to die. Not sure how many more death notices I can handle in 2008.
Since Mom's in the Philippines, she had the opportunity to visit with Uncle Moring in the hospital. She'd mentioned that he cried when he saw her, knowing that he would soon be meeting Dad. I hope that Mom isn't too overwhelmed with Uncle's funeral services which she'll be attending. Al's mentioned in the past . . . Dad must've known how it would agonize Mom & me to have to endure a wake/funeral ritual, which is why his directives upon his death were so specific and included cremation.
Thanks, Dad, for thinking of us.
Yesterday started with two missed calls on my cell phone. Not recognizing the 551 area code, I finally picked it up.
We celebrated Al's 2nd healthy heart anniversary and Dad's 100 days with an intimate dinner with our friends, Ray & May, last night. I made Al's version of pizza (flax flat bread, tomatoes, olive oil, low fat cottage cheese) as appetizers, and our meal included Ray's colorful salad (spinach, strawberries, mandarin oranges and almonds); steamed first, then grilled barbecue chicken; and lentils & brown rice topped with crispy onions. For dessert, my homemade apple cobbler. I've discovered honeycrisp apples are the secret. 
Al's second year healthy heart anniversary is on December 7. I realized that I was living my Mom's life the moment the doctors told us that Al, my then 38-year-old relatively healthy husband, would immediately have to undergo a quadruple bypass. 
I'm told . . . You never really get over any major loss such as the death of a loved one -- an (unborn) child, a parent. You just try to move on. You just hope that time helps you to move forward. 
I survived Thanksgiving without Dad. 
Mom left on a 10.30pm flight for the Philippines last night. The past week has been wrought with a combination of anxiety, forgiveness and thanksgiving. Mom's main purpose for her two-month retreat to the Philippines is to work through the mess of paperwork around Michael's U.S. citizenship. It's a complicated situation. So complicated I refuse to relive my last memory of the Philippines (2003). The next time Al & I go to the Philippines, it will be to get our child. And it will be a wonderful memory - for both of us. 
How amazing is it for my hapa (mixed race) nieces & nephews as well as my close friends and their multiracial/multicultural families to witness such a heartwarming milestone in our life's and the United States' history. A photo is worth so many words and yet, nothing needs to be spoken of such greatness. 
We attended the noon service at OLM today. It was a special Mass for all those who have passed since last year's All Souls Day. Each person's name and date of death was written on a placard and highlighted with a votive candle. A total of 60 parishoners were honored. At home, Mom even left a small plate of food out by Dad's urn. So Buddhist of her, said Tyne. The service was overwhelming as I saw some of Dad & Mom's old barkada and mine too. 
While I've been breaking through the past couple of days, I finally had a moment of clarity. Perhaps I'm overwhelmed trying to do too much, trying to keep it together -- especially in front of my Mom.