Her heart's journey

Mom left on a 10.30pm flight for the Philippines last night. The past week has been wrought with a combination of anxiety, forgiveness and thanksgiving. Mom's main purpose for her two-month retreat to the Philippines is to work through the mess of paperwork around Michael's U.S. citizenship.  It's a complicated situation.  So complicated I refuse to relive my last memory of the Philippines (2003).  The next time Al & I go to the Philippines, it will be to get our child.  And it will be a wonderful memory - for both of us. 

While I was at Mom's yesterday, I came upon one of Dad's chaplets and read, 'Prayer is thanksgiving.'  In my daily meditation, I've tried to mindfully focus on prayer.  I pray that once Mom has cleared up Michael's paperwork, she can relax and enjoy her retreat.  I pray that on this trip, Mom's heart experiences more ease and less guilt about Dad's dying.  I pray that time and memories continue to comfort our family as we continue to grieve with graceful thanksgiving. 

I've been anticipating Dad's 100th day death anniversary - Sunday, December 7. Some Buddhists believe that spirits are reborn then. 
I miss my Dad.