Revisiting death

It has been an extremely emotionally exhausting weekend as we attended two nights of Tita L.'s wake and yesterday's funeral.  Not only emotional, it has also been comforting to truly know how Tita L. is finally at peace, and so is her family.  We witnessed how much her husband, Tito R., loved her as he shared stories of their courtship and marriage, and we could see how relieved he was to finally let his wife go after such a long (non) existence.  While painful to think of what's ahead without the love of your life, Tito R. has had the past seven years to come to terms without the love of his life as he has devoted every waking moment to her care.  Wishing Tito R. much comfort and serenity in the months ahead. 

At one moment during the funeral, I couldn't help but reflect on my Dad's journey.  I am so thankful that he was able to die on his own terms.   With Father's Day upcoming in a few weeks, I wanted to re-post a previous entry that honors my Dad. (<<< Please click on the link.)

No doubt Tita L.'s heart will continue to live in those to whom she gave so much of herself.  To life beyond.

Flutters, hiccups and kicks - oh my!

Earlier on, it felt like light layers of skin unfolding from deep within. Weeks later, flutters turned into occasional pokes.  More frequent pokes, I realize now, are hiccups.  And every so often I feel like our little "Milagro" (miracle) is aiming for a GOOOOOAAAALLLL!

I catch myself in the moment of trying to figure out if it's Milagro's elbow or knee I feel nudging under my breast as s/he stretches. I am awed that I can actually sense a tiny rump twist and turn, trying to find a comfortable position, just as I engage in a deep twist yoga/meditation practice. 

The sacredness of life
Sadly, we received word today that A.'s aunt died after almost seven years of living in a physically and mentally incapacitated state. A diabetic, she'd had open heart surgery and suffered multiple strokes thereafter leaving her bedridden and on a feeding tube.   Now she is finally at peace . . . and so is her family.

 I am reminded once again how sacred life is. As I revere the growing life inside of me, my wish for Tita L.'s soul . . . 

May she be in the tranquil presence of Spirit

May her open and generous heart live in others

May those around her know the light of her true nature

May they be transformed by her warmth

Blessed

It's the eve of Mama's Day, and I feel abundantly blessed.  Blessed to have high quality women in my circle of confidantes who nurture me.  Blessed to have mothers in my family who provide wonderfully gracious examples of mamahood.  Blessed to be expecting children by adoption and birth.  Blessed to be on this journey with a most honorable man who accepts me for the woman that I am and the mama I hope to be.  

Whether a woman chooses to have children or not, the gift of supporting others (like a mother) seems to be instinctive.  My wish for the women who are blessings to others in their lives, for those who miss their mamas, and for those waiting to be mamas . . .  

just as Spirit drops a delicate touch of dew on a golden tulip

and paints dusk with a dazzling hue of lavender

may Spirit delight your heart every day

that you are cherished by those around you

And on the eve of Mama's Day, my most treasured experience so far?  Though "Milagro" has been wigglin' around for some time now, this morning I felt its first strong kick!  Indeed I am blessed.

Sacred sunflowers

in meditation

the earth nourishes my hands

i gingerly cup each seedling 

and embed it 

into nature's core

anticipation --

three sunflowers

waltz towards the Sun

as if in an enchanted secret garden

inspired by their dance

i warmly embrace Spirit