10 + 1 (things to note before/after your Dad dies)

1.  Confirm date of death with Social Security & Pension funds, and make sure they have actually noted it in their records.  Most likely, you'll have to follow up more than once even if you have completed all of the forms. 

2.  Reassign all bills (after) / bank accounts (before) / home-car-health insurance policies (after) to the appropriate individual(s).

3.  Change the outgoing message on the answering machine.  (Of course, your natural tendency is to save it because it's probably the only recent recording of your Dad's voice.)

4.  Destroy & cancel all credit cards.

5.  Cancel all magazine subscriptions, and on the bill, write 'DECEASED.'

6.  Cancel all memberships, and on the dues, write 'DECEASED.'

7. Cancel Dad's cell phone.

8.  Do not use any return address labels with your Dad's name on it. 

9.  Mom likes to sign off on any written communication -- Lina & Amante (RIP)

10.  Keep copies of your Dad's death certificates.  Lots of official folks need proof.
11. Keep in touch with Dad's friends . . . makes you feel closer to him.

Though I've been unemployed for a few months now, unending matters around Dad's affairs constantly pop up.  Just when I think I've already made the calls and have completed the right paperwork, someone still doesn't have it right in their records. For some reason, he's still living in their records.  And I have to confirm and reconfirm that he passed away.  So much fun to constantly rehash my Dad's death in my mind.  And the hospital bills?  We're receiving explanations of benefits from procedures my Dad had in March!  Apparently, it takes nine months to process those.  I have to admit, I'm willing to deal with all of it, just to spare my Mom any more grief than she continues to experience. 

Mom is taking care of some business in the Philippines, including attending to Michael.  Sad news, another family member passed away from cancer -- Uncle Moring (Corrales), Dad's brother-in-law's brother.  Like family, I suppose, since they're all from the same hometown.  We'd last spent some time with him when we were all in CA in April.  He returned to the Philippines to die.  Not sure how many more death notices I can handle in 2008.  

Since Mom's in the Philippines, she had the opportunity to visit with Uncle Moring in the hospital.  She'd mentioned that he cried when he saw her, knowing that he would soon be meeting Dad.  I hope that Mom isn't too overwhelmed with Uncle's funeral services which she'll be attending.  Al's mentioned in the past . . . Dad must've known how it would agonize Mom & me to have to endure a wake/funeral ritual, which is why his directives upon his death were so specific and included cremation.

Thanks, Dad, for thinking of us.