I can do it!

It's the eve before I return to work after my 8-month hiatus from the workforce. Gone are my daily screenings of "Gilmore girls," though DVR will certainly come in handy.  Definitely gone is my routine of sleeping into the late morning & lounging around while I have my brunch. Welcome back, my NJ Transit bus commute alternating with drives into Jersey City & hopping onto the PATH train.  Welcome back, Work.

Thank you, A., for supporting me during my unemployment, for letting me enjoy a taste of living as a 'kept woman,' at least for a while.  It was actually a good run.  I didn't mind so much the . . . having dinner ready as soon as A. walked through the door, doing load after load of laundry on a daily basis, & groceries every week . . . in addition to my much appreciated yoga & meditation sessions at home . . . dates with Mom . . . & most importantly, time to grieve & reflect on death . . . & life too.  However, I am thankful to return to work, so as to relieve A. of any pressure & stress with my not working.   

This past week, I was saddened to learn that an old high school classmate's 5-year-old son was suddenly hospitalized, and doctors discovered he has AVM (arterio-venous malformation) on his brain, a rare medical condition.  While I am not a parent yet, I feel compassion for B. & her family, especially her young son, J.  Living with AVM is extremely risky, given bleeding on the brain & the possibility of ongoing seizures.  B. & her family are hopeful, and J. receives the best medical care at Columbia University Medical Center.  J., sending you healthy & loving vibrations.

Upon learning J.'s news, I realized . . . I really need not be so bummed about where A. & I are currently at with our family planning.  And facebook doesn't always help . . . getting all caught up with everyone else's status updates & photos of being pregnant, their baby showers, first-time dads cutting umbilical cords,& first-time moms gushing at their newborns.  While I've known that choosing to be a parent is certainly no easy undertaking, I'm also reminded that there are always risks involved -- medical, physical, mental & emotional risks.  While people do choose to be parents, they certainly don't choose their children's -- biological or adopted -- situations.  And therein lies the awesomeness of parenthood.  Circumstances -- parents can't always choose, but no matter what, they do always love their kids.