Zen and the art of multitasking

My parents raised me to multitask since I was in elementary school -- school, activities, and chores.  Oh yes, and sleep.  That rhythm has continued until now.  As a new mama who recently resigned from her fundraising job in the city to be at home with her newborn daughter for (hopefully) the first year, I've been struggling with the following woes:

  • I'm not stimulating my two-month-old enough. I'm messing her up.  I'm a terrible mother. 
  • I'm not keeping our house tidy enough.
  • I haven't saved enough for me to be home for one year.  I'm putting pressure on my partner to be the sole wage earner.
  • My professional experience may not be enough by the time I'll have to find a job near home.

Instead of worrying about whether or not I'm doing or being enough, I've had to make an effort to include mindfulness on my task list.  In addition to childcare, adoption follow-up, bill payments, dishes, laundry, storage organizing and showering, yoga and walking are absolute musts on the list.  Two months and 10 days since N.'s birth, mindfulness has been on the bottom of the list and yet the most important amidst the blur of sleep deprived days.  I've been trying to 'get back into it' -- trying to commit to my post natal yoga dvd at least two days a week and walks outside when the weather permits.  Doesn't always happen.  Doesn't happen enough.  As yoga has taught me, while I may not be super flexible, at least I can make the effort and just embrace the moment.  

Witting walk
i look down and see her 
nestled peacefully in my chest
i gaze up and see the Sun
shining radiantly above me
my heart as wide as the sky 
warm like autumn's glow
an ordinary instant swaddles me