Now that we've switched our weekly meetups in JC with Mom from Wednesday night dinners to Sunday brunches, attending Sunday service has also changed to Saturday evenings. My cousin, K. has pointed out to me, we spend most of our waking moments pushing away life's stuff that we don't want to deal with so much that when we are finally alone (or in God's presence), that's when we're most vulnerable. And it's so true. Whether it's my bus commute into the city, a drive alone, or a solemn moment at church, that's when random memories creep up.
I'm kneeling at St. Rose of Lima. Acoustic guitar in the background, and a singer songwriter voice croons "Amazing Grace" contemporary Christian style. Amazing Grace never fails to speak to me. Slowly . . . Father's Day brunch with my Dad at Hamilton Pub by Hamilton Park in downtown JC. Dad & I watching the New Jersey Nets v. Phoenix Suns at Brendan Byrne Arena. Weekend barbecues in the backyard starting Memorial Day and lasting through the summer. My eyes closed, I don't want to have to search through my pockets for tissue that isn't there. I try hard to remain kneeling and . . . be in the moment. Memories flood past me, my eyes still closed. The song is over. Silence as the last of the crowd walks up for communion. I continue to kneel . . . in amazing grace.
How present we are, works with Spirit just as much as it does with those so dear to us. Inspired by the Book of Ashley 13:13.
alone i am with Amazing Grace
your angelic melody
soothes my speckful, earthly lifing
my spirit settles into softened solace