On becoming an adoptive familiy

Because we are in the process of becoming an adoptive family, I find more and more that A. & I are super-conscious of our own journey to parenting. Each of us has always been observant of how our family and friends parent their children, and we've naturally grown in our ongoing discussions of how we'll handle particular situations as parents, what choices we would make, and how to deal with the range of challenges that will present themselves to us as parents. Some might even say, we're super-sensitive to how we'll parent because of our adoption process. No doubt part of our hyper-sensitivity is due to how old we were when we married and how old we'll be when we bring our child home. But I think most of it is due to the fact that we will be an adoptive family, and we're surrounded with so many different examples of parents. Definitely a variety.

They say nothing can prepare you to be a parent. I have to say, since we've been in the adoption process -- from researching various agencies for the past few years to finally choosing an agency to finally starting the process to now being in the process -- those who are looking at our family profile sure do a thorough job of at least giving the image that we are prepared to be parents. The agency has screened A. & me through various lenses -- our families, education, finances, personalities, psychological evaluations, childcare plans, how we answer personal questions, how we deal with crises, how we've overcome difficult situations . . . Making sure that we fully understand how much our lives will change once we add a child into the mix. All to say in more than one report, "I must say after reviewing [your home study] and reading about you and your husband that I feel you are an amazing couple. You both will be remarkable parents and the child who comes into your home will be blessed to have you for parents! (D.Borkowski, PSB - Interim Coordinator, Philippines Program)" After all that, Of course we'll be amazing parents. A.'s reaction, not mine.

And when our child is working through his/her tantrum for whatever reason, A. says, Remember, we chose this, we asked for this.

I think we've been ready.