As excited as I have been to share that we are in our adoption process, the number one question I can't stand hearing is, "Are you getting a baby . . . why aren't you getting a baby?"
I explain, the Philippine government is of the practice that it doesn't adopt out kids from the orphanages who are less than two years old. Moreover, A. & I are of the age bracket that the Philippine Inter-Country Adoption Board (ICAB) will not approve giving us a child who is less than two years old. Truth is, we fall into the older end of the adoptive parents spectrum.
And then we are faced with the, "Oh . . . so sorry . . .[that you can't get a baby . . . or a child as young as possible 'cause that would be best . . . ]" look or tone in their voice.
And my hot button has been pushed. Doesn't every child, no matter how old s/he is, deserve a loving home with caring parents? All children need attentive and warm-hearted adults in their lives. That's when I have to remind myself that such comments are ignorant, sometimes of a more primitive generation or way of thinking, and the people, who seemingly lack sensitivity, don't really mean to be hurtful. It's not personal.
I take a deep breath and am reminded why A. deliberately doesn't share too much information. It's why he's probably more private than I am. Not that he's not just as excited, just more cautious about with whom he shares his enthusiasm and about being a father.
Regardless of any hot button pushing, I know that I really need not mind what others think or say about the fact that we are on our way to being an adoptive family . . . because I know what a wonderful gift s/he will be, and her/his presence in our lives will create a whole new set of (parenting) buttons to be pushed! I look forward to that.