Welcome to the universe

The universe gifted us with our newborn daughter, N., the eve of my 40th birthday.  She was born on 08/08/12, 12.09am, 3.1lbs.  A premie, N. remains in NICU until she gains weight.  Thankfully, she came out screaming via emergency c-section and has been breathing on her own since then.  Other than an ivy feeding tube, she is hooked up to no other connections.  Doctors are hopeful that she'll outgrow her heart murmur which is common among premies.  And today, she is a week old. 

What was a routine weekly appointment with the specialist on Tuesday, August 7 quickly turned into cause for concern with multiple doctors leaving messages and telling us to get to Labor & Delivery (L&D) as quickly as possible since my blood work and 24-urine hour tests indicated dangerous results.  I would deliver that day.  I'd just packed a hospital bag the night before.  A. & I wrapped up what we could in 30 minutes at home and headed for L&D at the hospital where we were not expecting to give birth.  But knowing that the teaching hospital had a NICU, there was no question about delivering there.      

We arrived at L&D Room 8 around noon.  I was not prepared for the next twelve hours as doctors made tremendous efforts to bring my extremely high blood pressure down, which was the major cause for concern.  They informed us that the solution to preeclampsia was delivery.  A. & I learned that doctors were not immediately suggesting a C-section, but would induce me with two individual drugs, cervidil and petocin, in the hopes of a vaginal delivery - those were the next grueling 12 hours in the midst of my anxiety and panic as I was doped up on magnesium sulfate.  Doctors descended upon me like blackhawks at the slightest indication of the baby's lowered heart rate or the instability of my blood pressure.  While I was contracting on my own and reached 2cm dilation, the induction drugs were frightfully lowering the baby's heart rate and by 11pm, it was finally decided that I would undergo an emergency C-section.  

I've never been in the hospital before, nor have I had any kind of major surgery other than having my wisdom teeth pulled out.  While the first two trimesters of my pregnancy were uneventful, being high risk due to my advanced maternal age clearly took over in the last trimester.  

Having to go on leave unexpectedly as of July 13, two months before my due date of September 13 and giving birth at 35 weeks, I realize how much my quality of life has suffered by working in the city since my twenties. So not worth my health.  To think, I'd planned on working through August 16.  Not sure how I would have managed my 12-hour days and 1.5-hour commute one-way during my last trimester.  No doubt women do it.  So eye-opening how a moment of crisis or change brings such clarity to what matters most in life.  A. & I never expected to conceive a child after some years of trying on and off along with various stressful life events.  Nothing has come easy, and God doesn't give us what we can't handle.   

A. & I have been blessed by N., our little miracle.  Be the Light.   

Deep peace of the running wave to you.
Deep peace of the flowing air to you.
Deep peace of the quiet earth to you.
Deep peace of the shining stars to you.
Deep peace of the infinite peace to you.