Pulsing in prayer

It has been a most difficult third trimester what with concerns around hypertension, an underweight baby (medical term: poor fetal growth), and non-stress fetal monitoring. I have a doctor's appointment almost every day of the week -- weekly scheduled appointments with my ob/gyn, hypertension specialist, fetal medicine specialist, acupuncturist, and fetal monitoring at the hospital,  as I remember to be thankful for a team of medical professionals who are managing my and baby's health.  And in the midst of it all, I'm supposed to be on home rest and relax as much as possible.  Yeah right.

While I have been cautiously excited to be pregnant, I am also a woman who has always been hyper aware of her body.  No twinge or change in my body goes unnoticed or unexamined.  My most significant anxiety around being pregnant has been -- How will I handle the physical changes in my body? Will I be able to manage the discomfort? Even with all of the reading I've done addressing my fears around pregnancy and childbirth, I so dislike having no control over my body. Blessedly one of my oldest and dearest friends, E., a nurse as well as a doula in training, has been of immense comfort and has offered to support A. and me in our journey through childbirth.   

Admittedly with all the worries, A. recently reminded me that perhaps we'd forgotten about trusting in Spirit. Nothing has come easy to us, so why should we expect otherwise? What with A.'s heart, Dad's cancer, our adoption process, particular family relationships . . . While we've been making tremendous efforts to meditate, prayer has its role too -- knowing that Spirit is with us.  Clearly we need to have confidence in prayer and believe that a greater Life Force intervenes.  That's why we are here. That's why we are grateful for this 'Milagro' in our lives.  In addition to pulsing with gratitude, we must remember to also pulse in prayer.