Jamboree

To soundful merrymaking!  A. & I have spent the past five weekends preparing to put our downtown JC apartment on the market.  From the antique white paint to a new bathroom vanity to a custom cut saddle, we are finally done!  Here's to selling the one-bedroom before the end of the year.  While most expectant couples "nest" in preparation for the arrival of their little one, we are hoping to increase our Bring Home Baby (BHB) funds as we continue to await our child match and anticipate the pick-up time of our three-to-six-year-old.  Understanding that the adoption processing fees never seem to come to an end -- immigration application extensions, clearance renewals, homestudy updates, passport renewals and no doubt, more -- the financial preparations  and ongoing paperwork outweigh any emotional incubation.


In the meantime, the Indian Summer jamboree includes Saturday fishing with a college mate, C., and N., visiting from Down Under, at Belmar topped off with a late lunch at Klein's Fishery.  C. lives in Philly, so we make it a point to connect every few months.  C. & I casually strolled the boardwalk from Avon to Spring Lake and back while our men fished.  Sadly, the uncharacteristic more than 80-plus-degree sun made for a No Catch day.  Nonetheless, we welcomed being outdoors and basked in the art of doing nothing.  


Never seems to be any time to do absolutely nothing.  It is those moments . . . digging my feet into the warm, wet sand like a mud soak . . . the cool waves of the low tide washing refreshingly over my peds as I wade along the shoreline . . . balmy spots alternating with chilled ones . . .  and in the company of an old friend.  

Indian Summer's Jamboree

autumn star

in unexpected revelry

out of the wild blue

summery sunshine

bursts into song

Bobbing patience

Two years, one month, and four days that we're (not) expecting.  Most usually focus on the mom who's expecting.  Few give any attention to the father.  This past weekend, I was reminded how much A. is looking forward to becoming a dad just as much as I look forward to becoming a mama.  A. is much more disenchanted with all the waiting we've been doing, and I am more forgiving and accepting that the long wait is a part of the journey.  Every time the wait seems endless, A. says, "Can we just cancel?"  I know he doesn't mean it, that frustration is just getting the best of him.  He's convinced that he'll be 50 by the time we receive our child referral.  While we can't control how quickly the Philippine Inter-Country Adoption Board matches us with our future daughter or son, I know that some little one is wondering when she or he will finally get parents.  I gently point out to A., Let's enjoy our time BC (before child).  Not so easy when every waking moment is committed to something that has to be done whether it's work, home repairs, or plain exhaustion from the day-to-day.  For A., who is happening upon a 40-something birthday this month, along with his five-year healthy heart anniversary this upcoming December, the anticipation of our child is admittedly related to his mortality.  When A. unexpectedly underwent his quadruple bypass in 2006, he'd shared with me that his absolute only regret was not having a child as he didn't want to leave me alone in the world if he were to die.  And every day, I am thankful for the time A. & I have together.  

Prayer for the Dad-To-Be

girl or boy, it doesn't matter

your child 

of you

with you
patience bobs up and down
on ocean's ends 
as daughter or son and dad
wait to free memories of past's decisions

Instagram (Sandy Hook bayside)

enveloped in a blueberry haze

twenty minutes in 80-degree autumn

the bay shimmers pearlescent mulberry wine

like a steady ocean fever

the sun is a rouging grapefruit 

that fades into the horizon