Today is my peaceful day

So far this winter season, we've had a week off of school due to an ice storm. Today's another snow day, mostly slush. Grateful for the chance to take a much needed long walk with the dog and time to process another family death because that is the stage of life we're in, amidst celebrity passings too. Like everyone else, I took to a box of tissues to view Eric Dane's 'Last Words.' As he looked into the camera and intimately shared with his girls, I tried. Absolutely heart-wrenching. Reminded me so much of my last few weeks with my Dad before he passed peacefully at home almost eighteen years ago. His last words to me included, Was I a good father?

Auntie Nita Torqueza, my Dad's first cousin in California, recently died. Their moms were sisters. The Torqueza family lived in Jersey City before settling on the West Coast. I have strong memories of playing with my cousins -- Rowena, Rosalie, Rosanne and Regina. Because I grew up alone, their departure from New Jersey had a deep impact on me. Perhaps I inherited my Dad's sensitivity and connection to others. I have been participating in Auntie Nita's nine-day prayer novena and am mindful of the close family bond my Dad had with his first cousins, living together during their college years in the Philippines, along with buddyihng it up with his cousins' husbands, all from the same province of Narvacan, Ilocos Sur. I strive to keep those connecttions with family that my Dad so delighted in. He never missed holiday phone calls to California, Chicago and the Philippines. Long gone are the times of handwritten letters, he keyed in on his turquoise typewriter, but first wrote his letters on legal pads.

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Grateful for this afternoon's winter walk . . .

from the woodspath
i listen intently to the winter wind
whooshing, slush dripping
from the trees
today amidst the weight of the 
winter's wet snow 
i glimpse our neighborhood fox
he lurks about
like memories
their tenderness creeps
into my heart
as i view them
in my mind's eye
i think
despite the gravity of heartache
i can breathe and resolve
to make today
my peaceful day