Being a surivor has weighed heavily on my mind as we marked my Dad's second death anniversary and reflected on the memory of his memorial service.  Dad passed away Labor Day Weekend, so every Labor Day weekend following that brings some annual meditation.  At the same time, we continue to patiently wait for word from PSB about any udpate regarding the status of our adoption paperwork and child match process as I read about loss from the perspectives of adoptees, birth parents and adoptive parents.  In all of these,  loss is loss.  And the experience of survival from each point of view is most profound.  As a survivor, I will hopefully be able to empathize and support my future child's loss too.

Moving forward
Any time a family member passes from an illness, those living speak about how he survived with the illness as long as he did.  Rarely do they discuss how those living -- friends and family -- continue to survive the day-to-day immediately following death or year-after-year as they courageously note each passing birthday, holiday, wedding or death anniversary without the one who has died. 

When someone comes through a medical trauma, she has survived.  When someone comes through such a hurdle, the one alongside her has survived too.  And when someone unfortuantely has given her all to survive whatever complications only to finally give into something greater than the physical world, the ones alongside her are left to survive. 

Not everyone is fortunate to have someone by his side at that moment's last breath.  Those who are left behind survive that little detail. 

Survivorship among the living can be much more challenging.  To get through each day . . . Not a day goes by without thinking of his beloved partner, wife, her dear husband, her most cherished mother, father, child or pet even . . . before one is delighted by the next flashback. 

That is survivorship. 

[Just received UNofficial word from PSB via Mr. R. that our dossier has been finally approved by ICAB.  Waiting for official ICAB notification.  Then we can finally be in the match process.  Moving forward.  With caution.]