The Dossier

We're in the second major phase of our adoption process: The Dossier. More documents to prepare, more questions to answer, more forms to complete. Our homestudy has been scheduled for Saturday, December 12, 10am. Wow, this is really happening. Of course it is. We just paid our first substantive fee to begin the homestudy process, which will last 2-3 months. A social worker will come to our home and spend half the day with us . . . asking us questions, determining how fit our home is, how fit we are to be parents. I have to remember, the goal is the same for both the social worker and us -- to have a child placed in our home.

To prepare for the homestudy, one of the tasks we've been given is to write a letter to our future child's birth parents.

Here's an excerpt:
"You have given Birth to your child, and we lovingly welcome giving her/him Life. Your child is our child. It's as simple as that. S/he is not our 'adopted' daughter/son. S/he is ours, and we will always be graciously thankful to you for that. While we've known that we are already a family with the two of us, we have looked forward to expanding our family and sharing our Life's loves and passions with a child whom the Spirit blesses us with. And I don't take the gift of parenthood, or Life for that matter, for granted. Since my husband and I have been together, we have experienced both his unexpected open heart surgery, my father's death from stage 4 prostate cancer and in between, numerous nieces' and nephews' births into the world. It's quite an interesting paradox -- witnessing the circle of Life alongside Death or just having to think about the possibility of death in the face of a medical trial.

As our future child's birth parents, know that we honor you for choosing Life for your child, and we promise to provide the best Life possible. S/he will always know how much you love her/him and wanted more for her/him. When s/he can understand, s/he will learn what options may or may not have been available to you in your life's circumstances which led you to choose adoption, just as s/he will learn what led us to choose adoption. I honor you by closing with this short prayer --

Thank you, Great Spirit,
for connecting us to a Goodness greater than we could ever know
You have gifted us with a bond to Birth Parents
You have committed to us -- a child from our Homeland
Rich with history and memories . . . & most of all,
A Homeland which holds for us our hearts' celebration --
the journey to Our Child"