i run into the woods
desperate for natural tonic
bristly wildness rustles in the ground cover
blue-gray winged natives trill in conversation
i am wasted in the hinterland
4.4.16
4.3.16
Recent lessons
Every day presents a challenge: What will N. and I learn together? How can N. and I share in a fun experience? Whether it's a science lesson about gravity, an artful paper doll chain, a recipe to be chef'd up, or a love note to be created and mailed out, I am conscious of the simple life lessons and meaningful values I wish to embody and pass along to N.
Love is patient, love is learning. Our science experiments are easy and quick and most suitable for a three-and-half-year-old's curious mind. Most recently, N. has been pretty keen on Pluto -- both the Disney dog and the planet. So I figured it was an opportunity to learn about the solar system and how planets orbit around the sun. I headed to my usual go-to education sites and picked out an activity. But then, N. asked (and kept asking) which came first -- Pluto the Dog or Pluto the Planet (which we now know, isn't a planet-planet, but has been designated a dwarf planet). Turns out, both were introduced in 1930. And all we had to do was ask Siri! Somehow research seems easier in 2016. This week, we've been making observations of our lima bean plant. To our surprise, every day, it sprouts up significantly and poignantly reminds me how every day is an opportunity for N. (and for me) to grow.
Community means participating. Every month, we make a donation to the local Purple Hearts Foundation which supports veterans in challenging financial situations. N. has to select the toys and clothes she is ready to donate. N. does this enthusiastically with no hems and haws, and if she isn't ready to donate an item, she communicates so effectively. When we supported a local mental health and wellness campaign event last month, I was heartfully excited to participate in a community awareness experience with N. Yes, a three-and-a-half-year-old can understand feelings of sadness and the need for support from others.
Self-awareness is critical. Because of her hospitalization almost a year ago, N. has extreme anxiety when it comes to potty learning. The journey is long, and we require no pressure small steps. N. hates getting cleaned up, especially after a bowel movement. She is deeply fearful of getting a suppository or enema, no matter how much we reassure her that we are done with those. At home, it's a struggle to clean her thoroughly because she tightens her legs up fiercely. If she has to use a public restroom, no doubt she will wail hysterically. When all is done, she tells me, "Okay, I'm calm now. I'm gonna take a deep breath." With our kid-centered yoga and meditation practice, I gently remind her that she (and me too!) needs to pause and take a deep breath before (and keep breathing during) clean up. We still need lots of practice . . . because who likes feeling invaded (or doing the invading!) when you have to get your bum wiped by someone else (even if it is your mama).
Neighbors or fellow churchgoers often ask if N. is in preschool yet. Sometimes their questions seem a bit of an unwanted contest, and it's a brave balance to parent the way we want (which probably goes a bit against the grain) amidst social pressures for children's academic excellence and accomplishments that supposedly start in the womb.
Here's what I'm learning: All we can do is know our child, parent courageously from the heart, and know that it works for our family. To a brave balance.
Love is patient, love is learning. Our science experiments are easy and quick and most suitable for a three-and-half-year-old's curious mind. Most recently, N. has been pretty keen on Pluto -- both the Disney dog and the planet. So I figured it was an opportunity to learn about the solar system and how planets orbit around the sun. I headed to my usual go-to education sites and picked out an activity. But then, N. asked (and kept asking) which came first -- Pluto the Dog or Pluto the Planet (which we now know, isn't a planet-planet, but has been designated a dwarf planet). Turns out, both were introduced in 1930. And all we had to do was ask Siri! Somehow research seems easier in 2016. This week, we've been making observations of our lima bean plant. To our surprise, every day, it sprouts up significantly and poignantly reminds me how every day is an opportunity for N. (and for me) to grow. 
Community means participating. Every month, we make a donation to the local Purple Hearts Foundation which supports veterans in challenging financial situations. N. has to select the toys and clothes she is ready to donate. N. does this enthusiastically with no hems and haws, and if she isn't ready to donate an item, she communicates so effectively. When we supported a local mental health and wellness campaign event last month, I was heartfully excited to participate in a community awareness experience with N. Yes, a three-and-a-half-year-old can understand feelings of sadness and the need for support from others. Self-awareness is critical. Because of her hospitalization almost a year ago, N. has extreme anxiety when it comes to potty learning. The journey is long, and we require no pressure small steps. N. hates getting cleaned up, especially after a bowel movement. She is deeply fearful of getting a suppository or enema, no matter how much we reassure her that we are done with those. At home, it's a struggle to clean her thoroughly because she tightens her legs up fiercely. If she has to use a public restroom, no doubt she will wail hysterically. When all is done, she tells me, "Okay, I'm calm now. I'm gonna take a deep breath." With our kid-centered yoga and meditation practice, I gently remind her that she (and me too!) needs to pause and take a deep breath before (and keep breathing during) clean up. We still need lots of practice . . . because who likes feeling invaded (or doing the invading!) when you have to get your bum wiped by someone else (even if it is your mama).
Neighbors or fellow churchgoers often ask if N. is in preschool yet. Sometimes their questions seem a bit of an unwanted contest, and it's a brave balance to parent the way we want (which probably goes a bit against the grain) amidst social pressures for children's academic excellence and accomplishments that supposedly start in the womb.
Here's what I'm learning: All we can do is know our child, parent courageously from the heart, and know that it works for our family. To a brave balance.
27.1.16
Finding home
Maybe it's the Jonas effect.
I haven't stepped foot inside my mother's home for any kind of intentional quality time since my Dad died a little over seven years ago. My Dad's ashes sit on a mantle in the livingroom. I have no desire to sit in my mom's livingroom. Too painful to relive waiting for my Dad to die at home. Too harrowing to come to terms with the hardships of my parents' marriage. Truthfully, it was never home since we moved there after my sophomore year in high school. Home was growing up along Lincoln Park (though the proximity of Liberty State Park had its advantages too).
Thankfully I am left with memories of my childhood, most of them happy, and I am grateful for the generous life that my parents worked so hard to give me -- from my Jersey City roots to my coming of age in New Brunswick and Manhattan and to growing from a family of two to three along the bayshore.
So many memories can make home where the heart is.
Sort of. Living along the Jersey bayshore was home -- our strolls along the fishing pier, weekend runs to the fishery, summer whiffs of bunker and shrimp. While boxes currently remain halfway or unopened in the basement of our rental, much of which just needs to be donated or thrown away, I look forward to finding our permanent NoVA home and settling in, where N. will make her own memories of family, school and adventures and together, we will create a home where once we walk in, aromas will be familiar, tastes will be homespun, and scenes will be heart-stirring.
Until then, I trustily sit with where the Universe has led us as we wander along these Virginia roads, discover the gems in our new surroundings, and appreciate the awesome quest towards finding home.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)